All That I Can Do

Have you ever had a relationship with a dear friend suddenly go in the other direction? I have.

My ego wants to talk–about what happened, about why it happened, about why I did what I did, and why my friend’s mind should be changed and they should see my side. None of which will make any difference.

If people would just behave the way I want them to, and agree with my views, life would be so much easier. But alas, they do not. (Have you ever noticed that?)

So what can I do with this? All that I can do is love. Anger, resentment and regret keep me stuck in the past. Forgiveness allows me to heal and move forward. Love keeps me from responding in kind, and instead filtering my thoughts and words through unconditional love.

Gratitude reminds me to honor and bless the time that we had together in different days, and recognize that life is all about change–some that we really like and some that we don’t.

There is mourning involved when we experience dramatic change or loss, including the change in a relationship. And it hurts–there’s no question about it. But this is a process, not an event, and I must make sure that ultimately it is safe for the thought of that person to walk down the streets of my mind. (Remember that quote from Mary Morrissey’s book?)

A Course in Miracles reminds us that there is love and a call to love. Truly, sometimes that is all that we can do.

About revjerryt

I offer spiritual counseling around healing issues related to relationships (with our Higher Power, ourselves and family), coming out (regardless of sexual orientation), and other concerns. I am a Religious Science / New Thought Minister living in the San Diego area, and senior minister of Joyful Living Spiritual Center, meeting at the Days Hotel (543 Hotel Circle South, Mission Valley/San Diego) in the East Wing Meeting Room on the second floor. Learn more at Other services include weddings, holy unions, baby blessings, baptisms, and memorial services. Learn more about me, and my book, at I am also the founder of the LGBTQ Spiritual Summit, bringing members of the gay and lesbian community together with leaders of various religious denominations and spiritual traditions, in order to start the conversation about healing. Learn more at
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