Decide to Allow

If you were with me on Sunday, you remember that my topic was “Decide to Allow.”

You might be familiar with the work that Elizabeth Kubler Ross did surrounding the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. When we finally decide to allow, we can settle into the final stage of acceptance.

I believe that we experience grief anytime there is a major change in our lives. In relationships, when someone leaves, or the dynamics change (such as in a long-term health challenge). Sometimes we carry grief with us as the result of a relationship not being as we would have preferred, like one with parents or other family members. We might carry that grief with us for years or even decades, until we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and then ultimately, accept the new truth.

Why is this important? Because we won’t be available for the joy and passion that Life has for us, or for the intuitive ideas that Spirit gives us, if we are the walking wounded.

It is not necessarily fun stuff to look at and heal what needs to be healed. But the mystic poet Rumi reminds us: “don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”

Click on the link below to listen to my talk, “Decide to Allow.”

decide to allow 100911

About revjerryt

I offer spiritual counseling around healing issues related to relationships (with our Higher Power, ourselves and family), coming out (regardless of sexual orientation), and other concerns. I am a Religious Science / New Thought Minister living in the San Diego area, and senior minister of Joyful Living Spiritual Center, meeting at the Days Hotel (543 Hotel Circle South, Mission Valley/San Diego) in the East Wing Meeting Room on the second floor. Learn more at Other services include weddings, holy unions, baby blessings, baptisms, and memorial services. Learn more about me, and my book, at I am also the founder of the LGBTQ Spiritual Summit, bringing members of the gay and lesbian community together with leaders of various religious denominations and spiritual traditions, in order to start the conversation about healing. Learn more at
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